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Sex and Singlehood: A Cultural Shift – Part 3

Shaun leaned forward, gave Sofia a kiss on her tender cheek and then sat beside her on the sofa. ‘So, what do you plan to do today?’, Sofia asked, as she took a gentle sip of the coffee, snuggled tightly into his embrace. She remembered the night before and shuddered. He was indeed a beautiful specimen of a man!

She turned slightly, looking in his eyes, kissing and caressing his chest with her index finger, drawing imaginary lines from breast to breast as he pondered on a response. Continue reading “Sex and Singlehood: A Cultural Shift – Part 3”

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Living through the Covid-19 Lockdown

 I’ll tell you a story.

Last night I spent more than three hours on WhatsApp video call with a friend who has reached her wits end and was contemplating taking a long rest away from this world which she feels doesn’t care about her anymore.

Italian, early thirties and a successful Barrister who lives in a big house. On the outside, one would say she’s got it together.

She moved to London about seven years ago and that’s when I met her at a sidebar in London Bridge. Always wanted to settle and share her life with a good fella.

Continue reading “Living through the Covid-19 Lockdown”

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Travails of a Conoravirus lockdown!!

“Sometimes when you’re in a dark place you think you’ve been buried, but you’ve actually been planted.” — Christine Caine

The world has been gripped by the coronavirus (Covid-19) pandemic which has rendered the entire world scrambling for cover and in total panic, spurred on by the constant reporting by the media. People are dying in their hundreds on a daily basis. This has resulted in countries shutting down entire societies and limiting movement. Businesses have been forced to suspend operations, with more people ordered to stay home and a handful, those deemed to be key workers, allowed to continue their official duties in their places of work. Others who do not need to be physically located in their offices now work from home. Continue reading “Travails of a Conoravirus lockdown!!”

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The Black Man, Poverty & Whataboutery!!

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Our journeys through life involve seeking knowledge for enlightenment, discovery of the true self and making choices!!

The Covid-19 pandemic has once again exposed social ills and given many the opportunity to reflect on life choices and actions. What truly is important and what isn’t. Some of us have had horrendous experiences that have shaped the way we think, the friends we keep and the things that are important to us.

As a Black African who has spent considerable years in both Africa and the West, I think us Blacks world over must rethink our priorities and worldviews. We seriously need to rethink our values in order to start gaining some respect. 

For my Black brothers and sisters, we can’t continue to underestimate the impact of political and socioeconomic ideologies on our health, friendships, families and outlook to life. From being uninsured due to inability to afford private health coverage say, in the US, to having the wrong priorities in life and so on, we really need to up our game!! Continue reading “The Black Man, Poverty & Whataboutery!!”

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Urban Life: The Little things that matter

Living the urban life comes with its daily challenges for many. From travel in crowded trains and other public means of transport, to achieving a work-life balance, or just simply raising children in urban communities, one has to be fully engaging and equipped to make good one’s time.

Whilst waiting on the train platform this early Monday morning, with my two daughters, on our way to school, I observed a young mother struggling with a rather huge buggy, trying to find a space on the platform, as it was quite packed with commuters. Heaving and puffing, she looked out of breath, obviously from being in a hurry as not to miss the train.

Continue reading “Urban Life: The Little things that matter”

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Back to my Kitchen Lab – Quinoa

Many years ago while searching for recipes for Pearl Couscous, I came across another Superfood – Quinoa (pronounced Keen-wah).

Reading up on Quinoa and its many advantages, especially its high protein, fibre content and being gluten-free, I was instantly drawn to it and ever since my discovery I have made Quinoa one of my MUST-HAVE meals.

Continue reading “Back to my Kitchen Lab – Quinoa”

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Sex and Singlehood: A Cultural Shift – Part 2

“Hey Shaun, can I have a cuppa please”, Sofia said as she walked into the lounge, dressed in one of Shaun’s white shirts. She had woken up about 20 minutes earlier, but had decided to stay in bed, reminiscing on the encounter with Shaun.

Continue reading “Sex and Singlehood: A Cultural Shift – Part 2”

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Sex and Singlehood: A Cultural Shift – Part 1

He woke with a start, glancing at the window, wondering what time it was. It still looked pretty dark outside but he could hear the faint sound of a train.

Leaning forward, he checked the time on the bedside clock. 06.27 AM!! ‘Good’, he thought, as he sat up, reaching for his bleached robe hanging on the bedpost. He felt a pang of pain in his head like a migraine and knew he had drunk more than a few shots of Whisky last night.

Continue reading “Sex and Singlehood: A Cultural Shift – Part 1”

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Why Some Married Women Cheat ~ Views of a Male Escort

“Fishes in a glass bowl, swimming ever so freely; in a bowl they live, ever bound within; trapped they are, for in that bowl, there’s no escape” ~ Lorenzo

Tim is a 45 year-old retired man-for-hire, a male escort. His other services involved pleasing his female clients, offering sex for a fee. This lifestyle afforded Tim countless holidays to the Côte d’Azur, romantic escapes to Venice, lazy weekends at one of his favourite getaways, The Peninsula Paris, skiing trips to the Swiss Alps, Film Festivals in Cannes, trips to Ocho Rios and lots of other perks only money could provide.

Continue reading “Why Some Married Women Cheat ~ Views of a Male Escort”

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Travel for Self-Realization!!

“Travel not to escape life, but so life doesn’t escape you” ~ Unknown

The other day I was engaged in a conversation with a friend about travelling and the difference, if any, between a tourist and an adventurer.

For me, a tourist goes on holiday or trips to enjoy the time away from home, to rest and get away from routine. A tourist goes to see popular places, has a set of goals to conquer. It is not surprising to find some tourists limiting their trips to just within the resort, venturing out just to take a few photos and explore a few local places of interest.

Continue reading “Travel for Self-Realization!!”

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Your life is your Canvas, your Clay!!

“Life starts on a blank canvas. You are the Artist. Through life, you paint many pictures, some good and others bad. Today, Now, is the time to produce your best pictures yet” ~ Lorenzo

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Your life is your Canvas. Take control of what you paint on it!

Very frequently we sit back and reminisce on the good old days, those carefree days when we were young and had little care for the world. We were not burdened by things we had little or no control over.

Continue reading “Your life is your Canvas, your Clay!!”

Today’s ‘Metrosexual’ Man – Blending Classic with the Modern!

Lifestyle Choices

“The eyes might be the window to the soul, but clothing and accessories are the doors leading to just about everywhere else” ~ Lorenzo

According to the journalist Mark Simpson, the metrosexual is dead. Long live the ‘spornosexual’. Is he right?

Personally, I disagree. Athough there’s a growing number of men doing all it takes to be rewarded with ripped bodies, there are many others who are still very much more focused on clothing, accessories, the occasional keep-fit sessions, grooming and less of extreme body workouts.

Being the author of both terms does give Mark Simpson the license to define them as he deems fit. However his take on the metrosexual suggests a rather narcisstic personality, self-loving, “the single young man with a high disposable income, living or working in the city {because that’s where all the best shops are}”, seems to me to be erroneous given that not every man who is conscious of their outward appearance and grooming have high disposable income, live or work only in the cities and somewhat narcissistic.

There is an increasingly generalized influence on men by a feminized culture which educates men that masculinity has suddenly become toxic and therefore being more feminized is the New Man! This doctrine cuts across every economic and social background and has an impact on the perception of most men on how society views them. There are others who are simply expressing themselves as they know how, irrespective of how much they have at their disposal.

Mark further argues that the death of the metro man has unleashed the ‘spornosexual’, a blend of sport, porn and metrosexual.

The spornosexual is seen as the man concerned with his personal appearance such as grooming and fashion, but also keen to emphasize a fit, virile and toned body. He is the man who works out daily at the gym, building those oiled six packs ready for a selfie!

In many respects I do agree with Simpson on the rise of the spornosexual, however I believe the metro man is alive and well. I am one!

Some have also argued in the past, and perhaps many still do today, that men who take absolute pleasure in grooming and physical appearance exhibit a ‘gayness’ or ‘girly’ nature. This may be right for some. But for many, it is the new age hetero-man being conscious of self, wanting to be everything and be that which he is. There are also gays who are proud of themselves and are equally as confident expressing themselves without limitations. It is all about self-discovery and boldness to be as you choose, by way of your physical appearance.

The explosion of male grooming products and advertisements showing body perfection, has also created an awakening in today’s males, that they can present themselves as best as they want without guilt.

Although society does put pressure on men to engage with their more feminine qualities, to be more effeminate, it should not in any way, condemn men who, though have been feminized somewhat, are still able to express manly tendencies. Masculinity should not be confined only to aggression and patriarchy, but rather it is the quality that defines manhood.

I remember some years ago walking into a shop and picking up a bottle of the Original Old Spice Aftershave. Why? I needed to be reminded of that distinctive classic masculine smell, the smell of the man’s man.

Acknowledging one’s softer side such as outward show of emotion, being more caring and accommodating, less brutish and more nurturing, amongst others, should not strip one of one’s masculinity.

Recognising these feminine personalities in oneself and yet exuding strong manly qualities, especially in one’s bold and confident physical appearance, only confirms a man who has successfully struck a balance between the classic and the modern.

Today’s metro man is indeed like Old Spice. He exudes masculinity and is distinctive. He has been around and knows the game. He is self-aware and meets the challenges of being a man in today’s world.

The Metrosexual is very much alive and awake. He is the quintessential gentleman, bold enough to make a statement that he has arrived, yet subtle enough to not wreck the party.

He exhibits a manly confidence and a posturing which suggests he is aware of his time and will do the needful to achieve his goals.

Either you are a metrosexual, spornosexual or non-metro, what’s really important is self-identification. Be who you really want to be. Break the chain and feel release. Feel confident to represent yourself and no one else!

Be distinctive!!! Have your own style and rock it with confidence!!

 

#Updated. First Published on 9th January, 2017